Sometimes I wish I talked more with people about their plans for future and their wishes/ambitions.
Today I was talking with a friend from secondary school, that one friend I’ve always only had really deep talks with: we took a drama course on Dante’s Paradiso together last year and we spent a lot of time talking about views and ideas that are so personal I doubt I would even mention them to other (perhaps closer) friends. I mean, we would talk about dawns and moons at 7.20am while walking to school in the upper city and wonder whether our daily actions would have affected the Universe while waiting for our buses! I love her.
Anyway. I was chatting with her earlier, and she was telling me what she would like to do next year, and she wrote [her words, translation by me]:
“I’m in a trial stage, working my way up; a gradual change, just like a boot camp before the start I long for – it’s an adventure inside the adventure, because I have already begun, but, it’s like, I’m now walking towards an airport to leave for the second time/for a second start.”
I like the idea of an adventure inside another adventure: it’s as if one could be wishing for something and keep trying to get it, still never reach it. Sounds so much like Schopenhauer again, I should definitely read some Moore or Leibniz!! Still, I imagine it like a spiral: he is walking on its edges, starting from the largest circle, and slowly going deeper and deeper down the spiral. Since he’ll die at 75, maximum 80, anyway, he will NEVER reach the starting point/his aim. I think he’d better sit in a comfortable spot, somewhere along the line, before he even reaches the airport, and contemplate the sight.
But after that, we were discussing the “adventure inside the adventure” thing and she told me that she thought it was a good metaphor for the way I think, apparently, because “you drag the world into the World and make people look into it”. What? I honestly do not quite understand this. And she would not explain it to me, so out of all of you, my dear readers, is there anyone who could clarify it for me? I have a strong feeling that I talk uninteresting bullshit all the time and that, most of the time, I’m better at listening and asking than I am at talking and explaining.